Thursday, March 20, 2014

Your Melody

Your Melody

by Vicki Scott Burns

Sound asleep, before daybreak
Familiar stirrings once again
Suddenly I’m wide awake
As reverential tunes begin
These words of mine cannot wait
I must reveal what stirs within
You are touching me, moving my heart to sing
May I be Your melody…

With each line my spirit molds
Throughout the chorus of this day
With each measure truth unfolds
As my heart Your fingers play
Your notes resound in my soul
Each one takes my breath away
You are composing me, moving my life to sing
May I be Your melody…

My fingers dance across this keyboard
My notes are words on pages white
I close my eyes and lose myself in reverie…

Wrapped up in these melodies
Since You marked me as Your own
Someday I’ll be the harmony
For angels singing ‘round Your throne
Keep making music out of me
Until You finally play me Home
I am Your instrument, play Your symphony in me
May I be Your melody…

May I always be
a holy melody

Copyright © 2005 by Vicki Scott Burns and by, IncAll rights reserved.

Friday, March 7, 2014

God Loves Me, This I KNOW

In March 1987, I gave birth to my second child, Kyle. He appeared to be a perfect, normal baby. Several hours later, it became apparent that something was horribly wrong. Doctors discovered that Kyle had a coarctation—a narrowing of the aorta as it branched off of his heart. This coarctation caused excessive strain on his heart and poor circulation to his extremities. Surgery was the only option.

The next day, Kyle’s surgery lasted five hours instead of the anticipated two. Consequently, Kyle was on a heart-lung machine, was “iced down,” and received oxygen for much longer than he should have. However, the doctors felt that the operation had been successful and that Kyle would go home approximately two weeks later.

Things did not proceed as planned. Because he had been iced down for such an extended period of time, Kyle’s kidneys had failed and his lower body was paralyzed. The high oxygen content he had received had probably caused blindness. Most significantly, his heart was exhausted. The harsh reality was that Kyle was going to die.

I bent down and kissed his tiny, precious forehead. My voice quivered as I told him that I loved him. He opened his eyes and looked at me. That was the one and only time he looked at anyone. His gaze pierced my heart and soul. Although I was not a believer at the time, I knew that God had kept Kyle alive to give me that moment.

Two hours later, Kyle went into cardiac arrest. CPR is routinely performed for 30 minutes before death is pronounced. After 25 minutes, and after watching Kyle’s heart and brain activity nearly stop, I asked the doctor to cease the CPR. I had never held Kyle, and I wanted to do so while he was still alive. I wanted him to die in the comfort and warmth of my arms rather than on a cold, hard table. I held him close, memorizing every detail about him. Five minutes later, I felt his last breath upon my face. The inconceivable had happened: my son had died. Little did I know that Kyle’s death would bring me to life.

For the next eighteen months, I was filled with an overwhelming anger and hatred towards God. Yet through that dark period, the memory of Kyle’s last breath upon my face stirred something deep within me. After a series of events well orchestrated by God, I walked into the 13th week of a 14-week Bible study. That morning, I discovered that God sent His Son to die on a cross simply because He loved me. God used that truth to draw me closer to Him, until I could no longer resist the magnetic pull of His love. Kyle’s death—the most painful event of my life—turned out to be my life’s greatest blessing because it led me to Christ. There are many things in this world that I will never know or understand, but this one thing I know: God loves me.

Today, as I commemorate the 27th anniversary of Kyle's death, I must admit that I still grieve. Not a single day passes without me thinking about Kyle and wishing that I could hold him for just a moment. Although my arms may be empty, my heart and soul are full because I trust in and cling to the promises God has made to me.

"But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8)

"By this the love of God was manifested in us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins." (1 John 4:9-10) 

God expressed His love for me by sending Jesus to die for me.

"and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away." (Revelation 21:4)

When I experience my final homecoming, I will be reunited with Kyle. My arms will no longer be empty and I will no longer grieve.

Do you know that God loves you? Despite the circumstances of your life—the things you have felt, thought, said, done, and experienced—God sent Jesus to die on the cross for you simply because He loves you. Step into today with an open heart so that you, too, may truly know that God loves you.

Copyright © 2004-2014 by, Inc. and by Vicki Scott Burns. All rights reserved.

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Free Falling into Jesus

Today would have been Kyle's 27th birthday. Every year on this day, I take time to reflect upon how far I've come in my walk with Jesus since March 4, 1987. I didn't know Jesus at the time. Quite frankly, I could not have cared less about Him. I was happy and thought my life was pretty grand. Why in the world would I need Jesus? I simply couldn't imagine why.

Kyle died in my arms when he was three days old. As you may imagine, my world came to a screeching, excruciating halt. Not only did I not think I needed Jesus, but I was downright angry at God. I hated God. I shook my fists and cursed God. I would rather have found myself in my own grave than let God have any place in my life. The ironic thing was that I was already buried in Kyle's grave. I felt dead and was sure that life would never be breathed back into me.

My heart and mind could not reconcile Kyle's death. I searched and searched for the meaning of it. Kyle's grave felt like the only tangible piece I had left of him and I simply could not keep myself from touching it every single day for a year. Somehow I thought that I could only be close to Kyle in that particular place, and that feeling close to him would eventually help me find my way out of the nightmare that had become my life.

God has a funny way of meeting us right where we need Him. I often walked silently among the gravestones. So many of them were adorned with passages of Scripture. My empty, aching heart and arms are what led me to the graveyard. Being there led me to those Scripture passages. Those passages set me upon a quest to figure out why God had taken my son away from me. Needless to say, God's plan all along was to lead me right back to Him. And lead me He did. (If you want to read my story, either scroll down to the very first post or click here.)

Every year on Kyle's birthday, I try to find a special way to celebrate him. I usually express myself in words which, I hope, will both honor Kyle and give glory to God for what He accomplished in me through Kyle. Below is this year's offering. Perhaps it will speak to your heart. I pray that it does. 

Free Fall
by Vicki Scott Burns

“Time heals all wounds,” that’s what they say
But I just don’t think it’s true
My heart got buried in a grave
With a tiny box of blue
I found myself
Falling in a free fall
Falling in so deep
Falling in a free fall
Falling down upon my knees
Free fall

The pages on the calendar
Keep on flipping one by one
But on this day most every year
I still start to come undone
I find myself
Falling in a free fall
Falling in so deep
Falling in a free fall
Falling down upon my knees
Free fall

Fallen down upon my knees
Is the only place where I can stand
Held up by the mercy of Your plan...

“Cast your burdens,” that’s what You say
“Let Me heal your broken heart.”
‘Cause when You rose from Your own grave
The sting of death was torn apart
So I could find myself
Falling in a free fall
Falling in so deep
Falling in a free fall
Into arms that rescued me
Free fall

Falling in a free fall
Falling in so deep
Falling in a free fall
Into love that set me free
I still find myself
Falling in a free fall
Falling in so deep
Falling in a free fall
Falling in so deep
I’m falling, falling, falling
I am free
Free fall

Copyright © 2014 by, Inc. and by Vicki Scott Burns. All rights reserved.